


Perhaps it better to have not loved at all

by OneGoodEye (orphan_account)



Category: The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Date, Gen, M/M, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-01
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-22 01:44:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/907422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/OneGoodEye
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times Clint loved and lost and one time he didn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perhaps it better to have not loved at all

**Author's Note:**

> There are Rape/Non-con elements between Barney and Clint possibly triggering don't read if it can be.   
> Be safe people.

Clint has loved few people and they've all basically screwed him over or left him.

* * *

Clint never loved his father hell never even liked him or had the weird hero worship that Barney had. His mother though she might has well have been his sun and his moon and everything else. His father called him gay and his brother called him a sissy but it didn't change the fact that his mother was his favorite. 

Then she left after being taken out by and with his asshole of a father. It was just him and Barney

* * *

Clint had loved Barney in a child admiration kind of way. Barney was the protector and to Clint that meant everything, but then they went to the circus where Clint picked up the bow  and really that's were everything went to hell. Barney was always somebody who needed attettion and he might have loved Clint before ,but certainly not after Clint got all the attention.

"Shut up you whore," Barney shouted as Clint cried against the gag "you fucking love the attention." and god it hurts so bad 

"Stop Barney please." Clint cries it coming out muffled and for a few seconds Barney actually stops before grinning. 

"Harder? anything you say little brother."

Clint becomes more popular and Barney more abusive until he finally tries to kill Clint after Clint decides not to take another fall for the asshole. 

It's another vauable life lesson really, those who love you always leave and sometimes they screw you after at the same time.

* * *

 

Erin is a beautiful woman with soft curves and a lovely voice and they meet in a bar. Clint falls in love despite he's previous rules and she dies in a car wreck the same way that Mom had expect this time she had arrow through her heart. This means war. 

Clint kills Barney and remembers the lessons from before. Don't Care and Don't Fall in Love. 

* * *

Clint loves Natalia not in the childish way like with Mom, the adoration with Barney, or in the sweet way like with Erin but in a needy helplessness that leave Clint with scraths and bruises and it's almost like Barney on his worst days but with Natalia it's a choice. 

Natalia leaves but after that she becomes Natasha and Clint is still in love but not in that way but in a comfortable friendship way and Clint enjoys it much more than the Sex.

* * *

Clint loves Bobbi and she loves him back. 

She leaves like Mom and like Erin but then she comes back but neither of them can deal with it. That's the only time Clint's ever been on board with the leaving and it hurts like hell but they stay friends and that's all Clint can asks of her.

* * *

 

Phil Coulson was always a guy that Clint had liked so when he acts for a date with him Clint says yes and then in the two hours before hand he calls and talks to Bobbi,Natasha, and Kate having a minor freak out. 

"Bobbi," Kate says into the phone as she watches with mild interest as Clint has a minor freak out in the living room. "I think Clint's having a breakdown. Huh? Oh sure you can talk to him." Kate says before handing Clint the phone as she sits down on the sofa and Lucky jumps up with her and lies his head on her lap and they both look at him as pulls the phone up to his ear. 

"Clint what did you do?" Bobbi says down the phone in a way that talks of years of experice with Clint. 

"I have a date." Clint blurts out to his immediaty concern as Kate and Lucky heads both bob up and silence meets him on the other side of the line. 

"A date?" Bobbi sats dumbly before she starts laughing "You, The Amazing Hawkeye, are scared of a date."

"Come on Bobbi it's with I guy I've like forever." Clint says and Kate's eyebrows are going to pop off if they contuine at this rate.

"Agent Coulson?" Bobbi says and then she says " You should go with the blue suit." 

"Huh?" 

"The blue suit." Bobbi says before saying "How long until your date?" 

"About two hours why?" 

"I'll be there with Natasha in ten." and then hangs up. 

Clint does gets to the date in one piece and Phil is charming and sweet. 

 _"This might be the one that doesn't leave."_ Clint thinks and what do you know he doesn't.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Help is appreciated and feedback is nice.   
> DFTBA


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